By metaphorical I mean 'Get your coat.'

12 notes


The cricket is still in my bathroom. My roommate is in there with a flashlight, a can of bug spray and murderous intentions. She’s been in there for several minutes and I keep hearing thumping sounds. I’d go check on her, but I’m afraid if I open the door the cricket will jump out at me. 

This is my life.

Filed under I AM AN ADULT I swear

109 notes

iridescent-nonreality asked: Could you combine "You can’t propose with an onion ring, idiot.” And, "Are you sure you should be wearing white?”

So this is very late, but here you go!


The restaurant had been crowded before the Avengers descended upon it en masse like a horde of locusts – or hungry super-humans, which was almost certainly worse. Pepper felt a little bad for the wait staff, but between Tony’s excessively generous tipping habits and the number of beaming selfies the staff were taking with the team, she supposed it would all work out in the end.

They didn’t get to go out like this often. The Avengers had been busy with one crisis after another, with barely time to pause for breath in between, for months now. Pepper had barely seen Tony outside of conference calls from the sight of one disaster or another. Half the time she hadn’t even known what country he was in, or even if he was still on the planet. But the latest crisis was resolved, everyone was home safe and unharmed, and when Thor had declared that they were going to take advantage of their downtime, Pepper and Happy had been swept up in the group, largely by virtue of being in the room at the time.

She didn’t mind, though. The Avengers were all friends of hers, and any excuse to spend the evening sitting across from her new husband was a good one.

Filed under my fic nightwalker writes stony stevetony pepper potts pepper and Tony are buds pepperxhappy is there a ship name for them? this is super rough I'm really sorry iridescent-nonreality

4,337 notes


Did you know that the words "I’m going to go to bed fairly early and get some sleep because I have a busy day ahead of me" actually has the EXACT same meaning as “I’m going to stay up late and fuck around on the internet for a few hours”? English is such a weird language.

(via snoozingcat)

8 notes

2014 Big Bang story needs an artist!


Due to some confusion with the claim process, we’re still looking for an artist for this story:

It should be saving the world as usual when the Avengers have to investigate the mysterious disappearances at a remote laboratory in Appalachia, but the threat is much greater than they know. Steve and Tony are trying to navigate the next step in their relationship, but an ancient darkness deep within the mountain will threaten all their lives if they can’t work together to stop it. Note: This is a Lovecraft fusion, but while knowledge of his Mythos will likely increase your enjoyment of the story, it’s not essential. A plot-heavy horror story that offers a decent amount of Thor as a secondary character and the chance to draw lots of tentacles, if that sweetens the pot for anyone. Not for the squeamish.
warnings: graphic depictions of body horror and dark/violent themes

(via alittlethor)